Anticipation

I haven't seen him in a while, and although absence does make the heart grow fonder, it also helps the mind cope. But when an opportunity for me to see him tomorrow arose, I jumped at it. It will only be for a short time, but I am really looking forward to it. My husband will be otherwise occupied and so I will get time all alone with him. Well, alone, as in, without my supervision. He'll have friends there and won't even notice my existance. But I can't help it. I am a woman in luv and I just have to go.

Once Again

Last night, we were together. Well, I doted upon him and he acknowledged me. It was something, I guess. He was with a woman he used to see. I can't compete with her. She's beautiful, talented. She can sing. I can't sing. How do I compete with that? Hey, Man of My Dreams, guess what, I can critize really well. I can make fun of stuff like nobody's business. Yeah, that'll work.

It's Been a While

A friend of mine saw him last night. I haven't talked to her yet, but I'm dieing to know how he looked, how he sounded, how he smelled. I'm anxious to know. It's been about a week since I've seen him. I've been trying to immerse myself in work and home to keep my mind away, but nothing seems to work for very long. Soon enough, my mind comes back. Naturally, I can't discuss this with my husband. Poor thing. He knows about my feelings and goes along for the ride. He will even take me to the places I know this man will be. My husband doesn't play second fiddle in my life and he isn't a consellation prize. My husband is everything to me. But, I have had feelings for this man for so long that I don't think I can stop.

Spending Time

We went out together last night. Well, I went somewhere I knew he would be and we were both there for 2 hours. I don't know how this will all turn out, but I hope, one day, he will find me and see who I am.

His Voice

I awoke to the sound of his singing this morning. Such a beautiful sound. I flashed back to the first time I heard his voice. I had never seen him before. I looked up, and there was this angel. I couldn't tear myself away. He was oblivious to my presence, but, somehow, he seemed aware that he was being watched. As he continued on his way and out of my life, I wrote off the sensation I was having as just another encounter with an attractive, talented man. About a year later, I heard his voice again. He was explaining about his life and his decisions. I was enthralled and I couldn't turn away. I became a woman in luv.

From Afar

I saw him from a distance this day. He gets inside my head and it's all I can do to get anything done except sit and remember my encounter. I saw him walking, talking, laughing. He was telling a story and I was hanging on his every motion. I imagine that I am the only one who notices how he squints his eyes slightly when he chuckles, but opens them wide when he laughs out-right. How he leans forward but keeps his head level when he knows people are watching. He is real. He is not some creation my head has developed to help me cope with the stresses of life. He is, however, currently unattainable.

Luv

Love is such a special word. You can love your parents. You can love your significant other. You can love your children. You can love your friends, coworkers, puppies. Love is unconditional. Love is also shared. Love is reciprocated. Luv is what you feel for someone when the feeling is not returned for whatever reason. Love is what I have for my husband. I am in love with my husband. I will always love my husband. I am in luv with another man, a man I cannot have.

One Day, He Will Be Mine.

The dreams have been coming more frequent and more realistic. It was easier when they were too fantastical to be believable. But now, I just wish they were true. You see, I am in luv with a man (I'll explain why I spell it "luv" in a while). I have been since I was 15. I am now pushing 30. Unfortunately, he doesn't know and I can't tell him.